Life's Song

People cry,
For those who left,
Sadness no cure,
Cure for sadness is He.
To whom we go for help,
Are helpless themselves,
Few lies few impressions,
Fakeness part of our lives,
Stretch my soul, tear my heart,
Nothing will you find but He,
For him I cry, for him I lie,
He is one and only one to be,
Great is He, who forgives us,
Cry for Him and He will suffice,
Recall cannot I His image,
It's our eyes for we don't see,
Know your image and it's His reflection,
Power is He, for He alone gives,
Life not enough, for the praise of He,
My soul will vanish,
If the search I begin,
The pain He bestows,
Is the pleasure unbearable for me,
He is here and everywhere,
I feel Him but fail to prove,
Listen to Him and you'll rule,
Loser I am not, unless He wishes,
Drops of Blood praise His touches,
He is sole who deserves,
Skies, moons and empty hearts,
Creation of whom we cannot fight,
Burn the devil and His whispers,
You still have to deal with your mind,
When will all it be over,
Cannot bear the war inside,
Tired, worn and hate inside,
Remedies of which I cannot find,
Pain and sorrows so much around,
Hurts too much to bear the sound,
Poets have ended and born again,
Cannot finish the songette they begin,
Screams of burning wind,
In empty hearts where I find,
Cry I feel and sadness heals,
When the light of you I find,
Burning fire is the fear inside.
Forgive us all, so I begin,
Torcher of the hell, let not begin,
Suffering we cannot bear,
Cry of people I cannot hear,
Though you know what we deserve,
Forgive us all for who we serve,
Beg to you for help,
Hear my plead, King of Universe
And the unseen,
My dear Allah, I wait for u,
Promise me u'll make me do,
Walk on your path, please make me do,
Die with your name on my tongue,
Little plea I beg of u and it’ll be done.
Bless the man who brought the light,
His ways were yours, his life was yours,
Love me please, and remember me,
Cause I love u and u love me,
Heat of world I cannot stand,
Please help me to bear so I can,
I'll wait for the time, when u and I will meet ,
Parties and your holy sounds,
Living forever like a silent sound,
 
Begin I dear not without your fear,
Help me out so I can hear,
Open my heart so I can see,
The truth besides what I see,
Near you are to me,
So hear my plea,
Make me of yours,
And let it be,

 
(19-Apr-2001)

Few seconds of Life

Time seems long and short in one’s life. With an exception of few seconds, life all in all seems just endurance. Endure struggle for a few seconds of pleasure and relief and then start again. Fight against nature, both internal and external and then live a few moments.

If time itself didn’t provide the pain and cure as well, I guess it would have been mankind’s biggest challenge. By some great mercy, it all comes to end for both the sufferer and the one who enjoyed life. Why choose to describe life between suffering and pleasure when the cycle inevitably cancels out or averages out all in the end.

With all the universe inside a human soul, what is time to a soul? There must be a soul that controls the faculty of mind and its peripherals. If time itself is a resource then the soul must be over and above this resource. The only matter is subjected to time and therefore, we have a greater purpose. Otherwise, all this just doesn’t make sense.

Time is the greatest friend and enemy of mankind and no wonder the Almighty swears by the time, that man will lose ultimately, unless he endures with steadfastness. Such beautiful analogy. With all its perfection provides ease to my thoughts, my mind, and my soul is at ease.

the purpose

another period of wait and struggle with my lazy nature with just sitting and starring in endless realms of my mind where story after story materializes. asking questions and what if scenarios drown my sense of reality and gets my spiraling thoughts of worry and concern for my close ones and many times for the people in general…

i know my overall purpose of life thankfully but don’t know the specifics. as the purpose i know is all encompassing and mercifully allows for much.

my mind is tired of uncertainty and fear of losing loved ones and i know i am not in control. there is no sense of security and certainty. the time passed by so quick i thought i always had time to prepare.

i wanted to build an impenetrable fortress with freedom to fly anywhere within and without this world. self-sufficient in every way where me and my loved ones will live forever… Or at-least the times that would remain forever till I die before anyone of the others. future brought a lot of freedom but took away the age of my loved ones. if i knew such steep costs i wouldn’t have grown. unfortunately, my end is not in my hands.

but then my purpose is known to me then why fight. perhaps if i was taught the loved ones will not remain forever and nothing will i would have taken the last three decades to grow-up accepting this inevitable fact.

i am weak and need constant support and words of reassurance of my purpose. the volatility of my thoughts tires me. endless thoughts and lethargic pace of physical realm drains my energy. i could always read and learn new things and increase my skills, i suppose more positive way of looking at things. this would be more productive.

i should not rely on people, close ones or just friends as none can be expected to get me any security. i don’t know the One who provides ultimate security has plans for me. i hope He does  

Emotions

This life is not worth living with just logic, it's the emotions that makes it worthwhile.
The sadness, happiness, excitement, anxiety, ecstatic, missing.......love.. between people, people's love with their surroundings, Creator's love for its creation..
Emotions induces both the punishment and rewards of this life. The emotional pain is too severe but one rewarding experience makes one forget about all that pain.
Why.......why I don't understand why this pain and pleasure, happiness and sadness, the logical world was enough of a punishment that existence and survival had to drive our actions... Is this why emotions disappear when the existence and survival comes in to question...

Faith & Experience

There I am again, amazed at this life. 

Chances, games and rolling dice.. 

So it seems.

Someone bigger is planning all this.

He is pleased with someone 

Why don’t I understand 

It’s almost, He favours his faith and belief 

To a point that I’m told accept his terms or move on

There will be something for you but probably not as good as this 

Then the answer came. 

He keeps my home clean… 

But what about me 

Your learning perhaps will be better for you as well 

Discretion

Global recession they say yet so much wealth around the world for everybody to live a comfortable life and still have surplus.

How ? one might ask.  Remove all barriers of any kind in this world. Whether restriction on movement of goods, wealth, commodities and most importantly, PEOPLE. Remove the disease of nationality and ethnicities from everywhere. There is no crap like having a privileged birth because of where one is born, or the family he/she belongs to, or the class.

People, capital, technology and commodities would move to the part of world which is more efficient in producing growth, ultimately causing scarcity of land and resources, thereby increasing the cost in those places, then people and resources would move to another part of the world wherever the situation is more attractive and thus the development continues and resources move to wherever development takes place. If any part of the world is efficient in managing growth and allow the residents of that land to prosper, let that management expand and gain more land and resources, without worrying about breaching these artificial boundaries. Whichever system expands works better, the world will reward it with more resources and people and hence allow it to expand.

At least,  then we won't have inefficient Governments wasting precious resources and destroying the lives of its people.

We have to get rid of these nuisances of passports, race, culture and class, that segregates different people needlessly. Our heritage belongs to nobody but to the annals of the Human legacy as citizens of this planet and nothing more.

Precious life is lost and environments destroyed, because one country feels they are completely isolated from any repercussions resulting from their actions. This is the most naive part of this system where world is divided into countries and borders.

If our history divides us giving a false perception of achievement at the cost of lives, what good is any achievement. We are one race, live in the same world, all our futures are intertwined, we all need to work together regardless so what is all the killing, composition or superfluous notions of superiority all about. People are creatures of habit that form cultures and mindsets, with an open and free world, the true human potential and spirit would be unleashed and bring in a new era of peace, prosperity and growth for everyone.

Unknown Thoughts

Letting my heart speak

Inside that exists

Vast plains of thoughts

Love passion shying away

Hidden from the world

Stranger than the unknown..

Universe

Oh stars tell me the story of Universe

Was it always so vast so wide

Was it always a sea of magnificent lights

Like a velvet with sparkling studs

With colours to make a rainbow shy

Insignificant Fool

So we are gift to universe
And sole reason for its existance
We serve ourselves all our lives
Unfulfilled, sad and pathetic we are

Wishes driving us
Plans pushing us
To what end is seen too often
Yet we stride and drive
The fools that we are
Worth something we are
Proud of what we are
Ponder not for a moment
What is worth this life
Spend this gift mercilessly
Is it worth living for what we do
Time and care so precious
A cog in the wheel that we are
Wasteful and arrogant we know we are
Ambitions and aspirations
AS useless as we are
Clear end to all what we see
To what end do we live for
Shortness of time and care
Struggle to reach our dreams
Dreams that are true for few
Such wasteful fools we are
Consider the pact we once had
Our purpose was clear
Think that was not real and useless
How foolish we are
Days and nights cycles around our wishes
Think this human spirit is achieving something
Killing, scheming and conspiracies
Not knowing and blaming,
Being ignorant that we are.

Permanent Condition

Sitting by the window watching the dripping water, drop by drop and a thunderous applause breaks the clouds. Drizzle away the beautiful drops, scares away the gloomy fear. The eyes wide open chasing every drop, marvel at the amazing scene. Each drop carries a face so petite and pretty, found temporary friends till the suns shines again to make new friends, though still temporary..

Worship

I don't know why I love you so
So much so desperately
Even hidden I can see you
My love exceeds woship that I do
Why this love is so gratifying
Why my heart is scared of this love
Mystery that exists 
Power that entails
Maddening passion and love I have for you
Your majesty scares me of expressing
Your honour and tests of fedility
Fears that pace the heart
Your love for us as creation
Prostrates my existance
You are that you are
What I am suppose to do with this love
Are unbearable as I can't embrace you
Shrouded by the cloak of sins
Under which I exist and live
Hidden by the necessaties I am surrounded by
My fickle moods and estranged thoughts
Struggle that is my condition
Worship that is this love....

Dreaming Again

What if dreams were real?
So much I wish I was not here
Gift this life is
Very precious I see
If I didn't exist no dreams there'll be
No thoughts to see
Nothing real.

Worship

So life is a great experience, with its ups and downs, relations, emotions and encounters that makes the mind wonder and heart feel. A musical rhythm with different tunes and tones, fascinate the five senses. Ultimately becoming sensational as the five senses excites and awaken the sixth sense.

Not very often does the sixth sense wakes up, but when it does, the trigger is very often not realised till it happens again, and again, like a frequent melody of sensational dance experienced by our senses giving the whole experience. Trigger that I came across initially was attraction, admiration, infatuation and possibly, love. Somehow the sixth sense is awakened by adventure of each of the other senses, giving the holistic experience enough to triggering the awakened aura of the sixth sense.

Love takes one towards the ultimate purpose of our creation or evolution. I am sure evolution must have a purpose as well, most probably to deal with our internal and external changing scenarios. My belief is that we evolved and then evolved till we had a sixth sense. But now I think we always had it, it wasn't used or the realisation of its existence wasn't there. 


Using my five senses at varying times I tried to read a book, the author was speaking to me, I imagined, this author was attractive, I admired, I was infatuated and then I fell in love, and involuntarily my knees became weak, my body somehow wanted to hug the ground and fell in worship...... the prostration awakened my sixth sense.... the Almighty made me realise why I should workship Him and why only Him, it's the highest form of expression of love, a relationship that only is deserved between a creation and the Creator.

Pierce

Big sister looking after her baby brother at Taubat Kashmir, Pakistan
Picture by Tapu Javeri 

Oh you inspired thought
Your sight belittle's my existance
Untamed, wild and unleashed
View that beholds the entire humanity
Piercing eyes and spearing emotions
Penetrates the very fabric of my soul
Vibrating the under currents of my emotions
Awakening from numbness all my senses
You that which I did not feel

Dark & Light

World arround so wide so open
So clean so pretty so bright

Inside our mess our hate our vice
So dear to us, we can't hide

Leaving thoughts for us to unite
One way, one right, one side

Always argue it's night or day
It's dark or light

Envy hate deciet and the seven sins
All with perspective, all with it's own eyes

Subtle, creative and attractive
Dark always overpowers at sight

So few, so weak, so confuse, so lost
In view is the light

Giving up hope but I see not so far away
A new ray, a new fight, a new great sight

Glad tidings given before
Ages gone since we remembered

Awakening lion will lick its wounds
Old belief with new faith, new hope.......

You

Songs are sung

Under the morning sun

Happy, chirpy, flying arround
Chasing, playing
The birds so nice
With pleasures of freshness
Like a breeze so light
My heart becomes a morning dew
When I wake up in the morning
Next to you.....

Here

Many ways are there
To express my love for you here
I felt the love in my heart
Blossoming from a fair start
Wishing for the time to stand still
Rushing to you for the shere thrill

Watching your smile in the morning light
Extends my life with a real delight
Not so far you go with your eyes
My heart will miss their melting sight

Never please wonder thee
Why he let this be
He loves you forever dear
You are his and he loves you here
Never waive the dreams which are real
He is living one with you RIGHT HERE

Hope

Pangs extracted 
Views unshared 

Awaken from the sleep 
Dream unseen 

Shouldering the weight 
Existence unbearable which I see

Wind felt on the skin 
Triggering emotions and thoughts 
Creating undying memories 

State of mind 
The soul flies 

Not far away I traveled 
But around the world I feel 

Watching the world so pure
Polluted thoughts I see 

Idealistic hopes 
But reality has its pangs 

Living words

Speaking is an art not to be taken lightly. With words creating and destroying worlds everyday, we still tend to under-estimate their power. Emphasis always being on language to impress, to persuade, to impose, to lead ,these are some of its uses aggressively propogated. Conventionally we are taught since childhood the use of these words in a certain manner or discipline in an effort to standardise everybody's understanding of the same words. Even then we have problems interpreting and deciphering other people's intentions or ideas using the same words.

It does create curitosity in me to understand, how is it that the same words used by different people could be interpreted or received differently. May be the other mediums of communication are probably much more influencing then the words coming out or may be these words are useless unless used in conjunction with certain jestures or body language. Writing would be quite a challenge in this case as there is no body to observe while reading, omitting that essential element of the body language but still most words are received as intended by its readers. Therefore, use of words must be an art and it is as we all know today.

About couple months back, I saw two birds fighting over a morsel of food ,each time the other would take the lead by pushing the other away. It would go back and raise its head and make a loud bird-ish squeek as if a roar of threat but the other bird challenging the roar. That made me think. If there was a medium ofcommunication stronger than the these signals, may be then they will learn to share and work something out.

But then I thought, if these birds did have advanced communication skills they would start debating and arguing and reasoning, subject to they being of the civilised kind they would not end up getting physically challenging. If they were too civilised they would gather up other friends using their advanced oratory and persuasive skills in communication to gain the support of other's in the fight for morsel. Communication models societies...To great extend it molds us into a lifestyle and habbits like a living force...

Blessing

Seeking warmth
I move towards
Comfort I feel
Without anything but a pair

Looking at them makes me wonder
I wish they have my life as well
Grew me to what I am
I feel I see my childhood in them

Sight does not get tired
Feel the energy they radiate
Nourishment for my eyes
Food for my soul

They are the blood in my veins
Shining brightly in their fame
Truly they are a miracle
Blessing which is not measurable

Why do they love us so
Knowing one day they will go
Leaving us behind alone
The thought I dread because I know
I will be finished without them

True words I say & no more
My hands shake & knees shiver
My heart melts & I feel hurt

Why do they love us so
I want them to have my years
The days & nights alone I fear
Without there prayers and wishes
I cannot fare

What power is bestowed to them?
How come they have this care?
My wondering mind would only rest
If I see them once again…..

Seen

Brown dust and clay skins have risen again,
Crashing souls under our guilty sins,
Brings lover's wrath again,

Endless dreams bring awakening to the worlds unseen,
Blurness between dreams and reality is felt,
But left unseen again,

Throbing urges against our wills,
Burning guilt is felt,
But left unseen again,

Wondering minds with no actions,
Thoughts that need some reactions,
Are felt through but left unseen again,

Seen through the eyes of avengers,
Too late are our actions again,

Emotions through which we stare,
Are left alone and subdued,
Though they are real,
Lines are blured between reality and dreams,
Are felt but left unseen again,

Empty hearts with bodies no mind,
Don't feel the need to compromise again,
Purity of actions and sincerety of intentions,
Reflect not in our actions,
When will we see again,

People came and they left,
World remains a hollow show,
Brown dust and clay skins will rise again,
In hope one day someone will see again.

Lying Shadows

What a buzz, what a scare

Almost facing my own fear

Something lurks in the shadowy past

Truth will hide in the dark

What I feel maybe not real,

The burning desire is my lonely fear

Looking forward makes me wonder

Is it the shadow

Behind which I hide

Dark smoke without fire

Beings which I cannot hire

Dreadful looks are not more scary

Looking inside is the fear of me

Running after the material to acquire

Hearing cries and worldly sorrows

Lonely feelings in the world full of people

What else can be worth crying

Looking around and meeting people

Everybody has the same old lie

Love matters and truth is good

Disciples of satan and more of his lies

The green grass and blue sky

Empty cradles and hollow dreams

Forgotten purpose and lost cause

What we see is no more real

Thankful impressions and valentines

Killing each other is not a mime

Buying everything and still so poor

We are not humans but the shadowy figure

Facing these fears is not a choice

The shadow being is very real........

First Scent

I wait for the day and I wait for the night,

Hoping for the time when you'll be mine

Nothing breaks the smile on my face or the tear in my eye

Till I hear your whisper from the sky (txt message)

I wear your love but I cannot see mine

To let it flow wildly is how I attract your eyes (i miss u)

Patience wears thin in your wait

For the meeting of our love shall await

The coming of the right time is expected

Wait o’stupid heart of mine

No need to rush, cry or haste..

Let the time be quick and swift in its form

Even if I have to see the wrinkles in your eye

Waiting to hear your voice in love

With anticipation I drown myself

Till your touch I find

Nothing touches me more than your words

For the lips they flow from are already mine

Roaring of my heart cannot be heard from near

You can only hear it when you are far from here

When I grow bald, old and grey

I shall look in your eyes and find myself the same way

As we were on the very first day...

Dedicated to an angel called 'Beenish'

Living Memories

Memories do not fade away, they linger on for as long as they are not replaced with better memories. But each memory has its own signature and that is a problem. Because sometimes you just want to forget even the good ones. Good memories remind you of how things were better and how much you wish things just work out in that particular way forever.....

I suppose all of these phases are temporary and nothing is forever. Everything comes to end, except that while carrying good and bad memories, life just feels too darn long..... With all our planning and forward thinking, it's all useless as nothing can guarantee good or bad memories. Very difficult to create perfect memories...

Man gets older but some memories remain fresh and young almost like as if it was just yesterday.....

Strength

There is so much beauty to see around us yet we usually choose not to out of sheer choice. We do actually see what we want to see. Newspapers are sold on basis of the most sensational and gripping news item for the day and media would drag it for at-least a month till some old-man is glad that he is dying soon. Tragedy, sadness, sorrow apparently attracts us more than other things in life. Is it really our purpose in life to live a few decades and then just die away without any trace? I wouldn't like to think so. How can a man/woman live a life which could engulf an entire universe with all the emotions, experiences and feelings. Any man/woman dying away destroys the whole universe..... and each time somebody dies he/she takes a piece of universe with them if not whole.

Letting Go

Everyone moving forward in life, experiencing its various offerings. The experiences one has from the past tend to stick around, especially the exceptional ones. Looking at these exceptional experiences makes me think what aspects of those were exceptional and why so ? And I found there were just too many right things happening at the right time. But some experiences where one thing was wrong, spoiled the whole experience from being exceptional.

Letting go of that one wrong thing becomes rather too difficult to forget and thus lingers on with me in life. As much as I try hard to let it go, I can't. Asking many people how does one actually let go regardless of their age, gender, etc. I got so many varieties of reply except one which sort of got stuck to me was
"It is easier to FORGIVE than to FORGET".

Perfect reply but now I have another line which I might have a problem letting go....

Bitterness

Living your daily routine.... managing your affairs but there is a world inside of us, managing that, is another thing all together. I guess if you are bitter inside the world outside doesn't seem so sweet. The lingering tangy feeling inside can't make the world outside feel any sweeter.. but ultimately the world outside is the one who's tastes we carry inside....irony.....of things among many in this life....

Food for thought I guess....

Faces

Fascinating to see the faces evolve and change at various stages of one's life. Face of baby even wins the heart of satan himself. The so called whispers and temptations don't seem to work on a child.

Teenage comes, whispers become stronger, accountability, responsibility starts to emerge as the other abilities develop. Experimentation and self discovery becomes the order of this stage. Fitting into the crowd, sense of belonging starts to take the priority. Whispers ha ha , the world itself starts to whisper in your ears, temptation becomes easier to get us indulged in.

Late teens, become self indulgence, mighty praise for oneself as the specimen develops with a new face in the mirror. Early twenties, gives the courage to face new thrills and seek more thrills.

Late twenties, finally our faces are useful for our society and hopefully meet their expectations. Some faces like to be seen, some prefer to see other faces. Questions and answers are wondered upon in more detail. Some start to dream during the day. Once the dreams starts to become real, the face seeks a similar face to look at for rest of their lives.

Blinding Glitter

We have developed a strong fascination with the stars in our cities with its blinding glitter and glamor. With these sparkling distractions in our cities we fail to see the true stars in the sky.

May be we got too much use to the idea of stars and lights presented to us on a platter in our cities. May be we do not wish to see anything more beautiful and naturally inciting. Or it is just that we do not feel that we should work hard to find the glorious guiding stars who once shown our earlier civilizations directions to new lands and discoveries.

In order to see the starry sky in all its grandeur and glory, one has to train his/her eyes to ignore the stars on land and let the stars in the sky reveal themselves.

I feel that the glittering sky has exchanged places with the starry earth. So, the once sky full of stars has faded away as the lights on earth became brighter. Even though earth used to be as dark as sky seems today.

Eyes

One glance into somebody's eyes can sometimes say so many words that we can become speechless. The only reply to such conversation can be just a stare....

Eyes can lie, may be, may be not but the adventures which one can have are guaranteed to be of varying experiences.

Pity, one cannot take this as a full time hobby. Each individual carries a world inside with so much depth and attraction. Some of the timeless experiences would probably be in somebody's eyes.

Rage for a Moment

Ticking away time does not have breaks, yet our minds have brakes, speed bumps, slopes.... As if this was not enough, one has to keep track of ones' heart as well.

Moments keep running one after another whether borrowed, taken or given. These don't wait. Life is full of moments raging towards what ? don;t know... Chasing history while moments keep flying away right under our nose. Words broken and put together again to justify the moments which pass away. Dreams, aspirations and desires makes one live in a hope or for that moment....

Breaking the silence, shouting for some moments to come quicker than other's. My dream is my hope..for that moment...

Wash-away Memories

Really have to give credit to nature for not allowing us to have perfect memories. Thinking back there are so many things which could really burden us through out our lives so much if we had remembered them. Almost feel like dragging our feet through the quick sand. Not being able to move forward in life.


Imagine some memories you would not want to forget but remembering them can be painful because the environment, time, people, moods, nothing is the same. And you keep on wishing for the same circumstances and expecting everything else to fall in place for that memory to be re-lived again.... No matter how we try can't get it back to re-live the same experience.... what would be the price of those memories I wonder....

Creating new memories seems to be the only way....Rest has to be just washed away....wishful
thinking I suppose....